What is a mentor?

A mentor is someone who inspires you. A mentor is someone who opens your eyes to new possibilities. A mentor generously shares their time and knowledge with you. A mentor is there for you to ask questions.

Meribeth Dayme

I recently lost a mentor. Dr. Meribeth Dayme, author of Dynamics of the Singing Voice and The Performers Voice passed away on October 28, 2019, two weeks after I last had a lesson with her. Her book, Dynamics of the Singing voice was significant throughout my formal training, but it was when I met her at the NATS Winter Workshop, I Sing the Body Electric, in San Diego in January 2017, that I met her in person. She spoke to me of her teacher training program, CoreSinging™. My husband had recently had a stroke and so I was not sure I wanted to invest in the training, but I am so very glad that I did.

CoreSinging™ dramatically changed my approach to teaching. I was reminded of our human to human connection within the studio—yes, I have significant expertise and training, but my student is the expert in their own vocal experience and when I listen to what they are saying and how their body is reacting, then we have more fun in the studio and better outcomes.

The majority of “toys” that I have in the studio are a direct result of my time with Meribeth. When we play with sound, our brain engages at the subconscious level, allowing it to follow known pathways, rather than our conscious brain working to forge new paths. By engaging the known (such as using the bounce of a ball to simulate the bounce of a staccato vocalization), the body can coordinate at a cellular level. When we consciously try to achieve this without other stimulation, we often overwork and add tension to the system, limiting our ability to achieve our desired outcome and often creating a mental sense of failure.

I have reframed the language I use in the studio. I had attempted to use only positive directives, focusing on what outcome we desired rather than what was “wrong,” but she helped me even more to refine my words. I continue to work toward removal of words such as just, yet, still, only from my teaching (and living!) vocabulary. Such words are limiting and suggest expectation of an already achieved outcome. As such, they can add to a sense of negative self-worth. Good and bad had already been eliminated from my studio vocabulary—there is only more efficiently and appropriately communicated sound. No sound is ever good or bad.

Today, I am a different teacher because of Meribeth. I consistently return to her teachings on energy, mental space, and framing language. Because of her direction, I am better able to listen to my student and respond to their needs and desires.

Thank you, Meribeth. You will be greatly missed but know that your influence lives on in my life and in the lives of the many teachers you touched. You were a visionary who showed us the way toward a responsive style of teaching that places the human front and center.